Bulawayo24 News - Skyes! "it makes perfect sense"

Zulu man and an English lawyer

An English lawyer and a Zulu man happen to be sitting next to each other on a flight from London to Joburg. The lawyer leans over to him and asks if he would like to play a fun game. The Zulu man is tired and just wants to take a nap, so h…

Published: 23 Aug 2011 at 11:19hrs | | by little johnny

Jona is almost about to die: Joke

As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you the truth. I cheated on you throughout our whole marriage. All those nights when I told you I was working late, I was with other women. And not just…

Published: 13 Aug 2011 at 16:33hrs | | by Makhox lebandla lakhe

My daughter is your reward: Joke

Once there was a millionaire, who collected live alligators. He kept them in the pool in back of his mansion. The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single. One day he decides to throw a huge party, and during the party he a…

Published: 13 Aug 2011 at 16:33hrs | | by Makhox lebandla lakhe

Who broke down the walls of Jericho?: Joke

A new school inspector is assigned to the Grade 4 class in one of the local schools.He is introduced to the class by the teacher.She says to the class: "Let's show the inspector just how clever you are by allowing him to ask you a question…

Published: 10 Aug 2011 at 08:07hrs | | by Makhox Labandla Lakhe

Two cabbages and two litters of cooking oil: Joke

One afternoon a husband arrived home with sad news for his wife Husband: Wife, I just received a call, mother(mama) passed away. Shall we go to town and get some necessities for the funeral, Please write a list and then we can go?.Wife: A …

Published: 09 Aug 2011 at 18:51hrs | | by Makhox Lebandla lakhe

Modern day Zulu language interpretation

One day Nomthandazo wanted to bake a cake, but she ran out of eggs. So she went to her usual grocery store emakhaya. As she walked in, Muzikayifani, the grocery owner, was there and she asked him for a dozen eggs. She went back home and ba…

Published: 19 Jul 2011 at 10:07hrs | | by Nare Msupatsila

Fight abortion, say NO!!

A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: 'Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together. So the doctor said: 'Ok a…

Published: 13 Jul 2011 at 04:54hrs | | by Say no to abortion

A stormy night in Soweto, 'hitch hiking': JOKE

Joe from Soweto was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him.Suddenly he saw a …

Published: 29 Jun 2011 at 19:00hrs | | by Makhox Lebandla lakhe

13 breakup disasters

You can remember the moment you knew it was over. You saw her flirting with her boss and all you felt was relief. Actually, now that you look back, it's been over for a while. Right that's you sorted, but what about her?Breakup equals hear…

Published: 14 Jun 2011 at 13:38hrs | | by Susan Erasmus

Dangers of changing jobs

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to hand him the money. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.For a few moments…

Published: 13 Jun 2011 at 16:11hrs | 1506 | by Makhox

Job application by Jona

I m aply to my job in u company of Shoprite. I complete to grade 8 examination certificate in 1997.I am 27 ears to be born and no mailed and no childish. my father is dead long time ago and my mother marry in Zimbabwe country there 10 year…

Published: 13 Jun 2011 at 14:07hrs | | by Makhox Lebandla lakhe

Key to successful marriage

Once I was asked by my Friend, "What is the secret behind your happy married life?"I said, "You should share responsibilities with due love, and respect each other. Then absolutely there will be no problems."He asked, "Can you explain?" I …

Published: 10 Jun 2011 at 07:37hrs | | by Makhox

Lessons with Makhox lebandla lakhe

DON'T YOU LIKE TO BE ZULU  Here = LA. Sleep= LALASleep here = LALA LASleep there = LALA LEListen = LALELA Listen here = LALELA LA Sleep over there = LA LELA LE Listen here Sleep over there = LALELALA LALELALE I hope you enjoyed my les…

Published: 06 Jun 2011 at 17:13hrs | | by Makhox lebandla lakhe

A touching story on marriage...

In many ways smaller debate groups make a great difference in that they are more engaging, genuine and the debate is more coherent. Typically I took part in a small forum debate where I was challenged put more flesh on the arguments that I…

Published: 06 Jun 2011 at 10:27hrs | | by Lowla Dee

An old woman in an Elevator

An old woman riding in an elevator in a lavish manner,when a young beautiful woman gets into the elevator,smelling expensive perfumes....She says to the old woman arrogantly "Romance" by Ralph Lauren $100 an ounce....Then another beautiful…

Published: 05 Jun 2011 at 14:08hrs | 1758 | by Makhox lebandla lakhe

Is my son gay!

My 12-year-old seems fascinated by gay people. It's always the gay character in programmes like Generations or Scandal that is his favourite. I don't mind if he's gay, but what I am wondering is if I should probe a bit and ask him if he ha…

Published: 03 Jun 2011 at 14:20hrs | | by Little Johnny

New Employment Rules

SICK-DAYSWe will no longer accept a sick note as proof of sickness. If you are able to get to the doctor, you are able to come into work.SURGERYOperations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You s…

Published: 09 May 2011 at 14:26hrs | | by CEO

Exam for you and you

Question 1: with solution---------------------------A mother is 21 years older than the child.6 years from now the mother will be 5 times as old as the child.Question : Where's the father?Try first, before you check the answer below.Click …

Published: 09 May 2011 at 14:24hrs | | by Examiner

I am the door

George Adam Smith, the 19th century biblical scholar tells of traveling one day in the holy land and coming across a shepherd and his sheep. He fell into conversation with him and the man showed him the fold into which the sheep were led a…

Published: 07 May 2011 at 14:34hrs | | by Zanele Phathi Nyathi

Most important part of the body

My mother used to ask me what the most important part of the body is. Through the years I would take a guess at what I thought was the correct Answer. When I was younger, I thought sound was very important to us as humans, so I said, …

Published: 07 May 2011 at 11:17hrs | | by Mahluli Moyo

Professor

UProfessor wayevakatshele esikolo semakhaya,isikolo siphetsheya komfula kudingeka ukuthi ungene esikepeni nxa usiya khona.Angene esikepeni uProfessor, nangu ulokhe eziqenya ngokuthi ufundile ulokhe ebuza lomfana otshayela isikepe izinto ze…

Published: 06 May 2011 at 18:24hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

Jona Again

One day little Jona falls in love with his teacher. He writes a letter of proposal. it goes like this: "Hie Ma'am. Ngikubahalela lencwandi ngikwazisa ukuthi mina uJonah ngihlulekile ukuzibamba ngandlela engikuthanda ngayo. Uthando lwa…

Published: 06 May 2011 at 18:14hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

Baptising A Drunk

A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river. The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher. The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by th…

Published: 05 May 2011 at 10:47hrs | | by Makhox Lebandla Lakhe

Be Specific

A man was being chased by a lion in the jungle, he got tired and felt he couldn't run anymore.He stood still and prayed, "Ohhh God, would you make this lion a Christian please?!". As requested, God made the lion a Christian. As it reached …

Published: 04 May 2011 at 08:11hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

Zimbabwe Football Results and Analysis with Muzi Hadebe

Week 6GUNNERS 0-2 KIGLONSHOOTING STARS 0-1 HIGHLANERSBLACK MAMBAS 0-3 FC PLATINUMCAPS UTD 1-0 CHICKEN INN SHABANIE 3-2 HWANGEZIM SAINTS 1-1 MONOMUTAPABLUE RIBB 0-1 MOTOR ACTIONDYNAMOS 5-1 MASVINGOTwenty one goals scored. 7 wins and 1 …

Published: 04 May 2011 at 05:22hrs | | by Muziwethu Hadebe

Why do we shout!

A theology professor was teaching about proverbs 15:1. He asked his students, "Why do we shout in anger?Why do people shout at each other when they are upset? The students thought for a while. One of them said, because we lose our calm, we…

Published: 02 May 2011 at 22:30hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

Please read this carefully

It all started when I received a call from someone claiming that he was from my mobile service provider and he asked me to shutdown my phone for 2 hours for 3G update to take place. As I was rushing for a meeting, I did not question and sh…

Published: 02 May 2011 at 22:16hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

Jona & the young boy

A young boy enters a barber shop and Jona whispers to his customer. "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." Jona puts $2 note in one hand and a $10 note in the other and then he calls the boy over and asked, …

Published: 01 May 2011 at 17:55hrs | | by Makhox wase kasi

What do you say about this

I think a lot of women are moving around with wounded hearts. Ladies who wounded you? Ngubani okuphe leso silonda?1. Was it the father who rejected you at birth?2. The mother who loved your sisters more than you?3. The relatives who ill-tr…

Published: 29 Apr 2011 at 05:46hrs | | by Makhox

Drunk Jona

Mr. Jona got home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep. He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.When he awoke he found a strange man standin…

Published: 29 Apr 2011 at 05:11hrs | | by Makhox

Opinion / Makhox lebandla lakhe

Police bust suspected drug network in Kibra

Chinese Ambassador praises Zimbabwean youth at Chinese Bridge finals

Four arrested over unlicensed firearms in Mpumalanga

Zimbabwe Diaspora Group accuses Legal and Parliamentary Committee of excluding important facts in CAB3 consultations

Machacha's flimsy attempt to defend CAB3 actually exposes the sinister motives behind the unpopular bill

Bones of Power: How Lungu's SA Ruling Differs from Mugabe's Kutama Burial

Force Will Not Sell #CAB3 - Only Persuasion Can

Musarara's bid to halt import levies thrown out of court

Tungwarara dishes out cash in Cowdray Park

Bishop beats chained woman to death in bid to cast out demons

Plumtree ambulance stolen, crashes in Marula

AFM faces another split

Drug dealing allegations rock school, staff involved

MP loses US$100,000 in alleged investment scam

6 war veterans declared liberation war heroes

Tshabangu dismisses claims of political 'ultimatum' to Zanu PF

Zimbabwe placed on Global Workers' Rights watch list

Woman douses hubby’s girlfriend with petrol, sets her alight

Frederick Shava orders stupid foreign study clearance

Zimbabwe industrialisation Indaba taken away from Bulawayo

Ghanaians flee xenophobic South Africa

Coltart of accused of cultural ignorance

Zimbabwe repatriates citizens fleeing South Africa unrest

Govt forced to suspend 2nd Shurugwi tollgate

Pregnant woman dies after assault by lover

BCC approves board for water utility

Several injured in Mahatshula road accident

Zimgold builds Bulawayo plant, eyes exports

Zimbabwe plans ban on importation of locally producible goods

Missing siblings search intensifies

Navaya brace fires Hardrock back to summit

Africans in South Africa put on notice

3 bodies retrieved from Harare sewer pool

Former finance assistant in court over US$210 000 fraud

Blitz targets illegal clinics, medicine dealers

Mpilo begins installing new cancer treatment machine

Mwonzora defiant after death threat over Muchena meeting

Man accused of impersonating Deputy Chief Justice

Tshabangu bloc holds CAB 3 vote as Zanu-PF talks stall

Chivayo splashes cars, cash on Manyuchi and Zvenyika

Biti rallies diaspora against Constitutional Amendment Bill

Patriotic Vendors4ED intensifies Zanu PF campaign after Tsholotsho District launch

Zimbabwe’s promotion of informal sector a ticking time bomb that threatens to explode any day

Coltart cautions against overstating Zimbabwe’s UN Security Council election

Limpopo Police Commissioner leads high‑density crime crackdown in Seshego

Pan‑African Parliament mourns death of Angolan delegate Manuel Domingos Augusto

Two Buhera men arrested over alleged cattle theft

MRP criticises Zimbabwe’s election to UN Security Council

Ramaphosa toughens stance on illegal immigration as Zimbabweans watch closely

74 Zimbabweans repatriated from South Africa after xenophobic attacks

Zanu-PF threatens unleash 'our' dogs

Animal rights body takes swipe at Ramaphosa

Internet key to economic development

Police impound kombis

Access to information, media freedom in the digital age

SDA pastor fired over indecent assault

Chiwenga launches African Dream boat

Zimbabwe call for peace in Gaza

Egypt Dzinemunhenzva sues ZEC over 'unlawful' nomination fees

Chiwenga, doctors in crunch meeting

News Team

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